I recently had someone extremely close to me share a piece of her "self" with me. And it was not a nice something. It was something that was so unpleasant that the word "unpleasant" doesn't seem to do it justice.
And for the first time in months. I wanted to write. I wanted to write all about it, and share it with my invisible world of readers. I wanted to shout her story from the mountain tops. I wanted the world to know about what had happened to this dear person. I didn't want her to keep this secret any longer.
But I didn't write about it. As a matter of fact, I didn't do anything. I just froze. And the words that I had read played and replayed on a loop in my mind all weekend. I could not stop thinking about it, because I couldn't make any sense of it.
I wanted to speak with her about it. But I wasn't sure what to say. Plus, I knew that I couldn't. And since I couldn't speak with her about it, what I really wanted to do was share it. With someone. Anyone. Everyone.
And that is when I realized...
It isn't my story to share. And that is how it needs to be. Besides, who am I really helping by sharing that person's story, other than myself? All the fight and glory of that person's story is mistaken for my own. No thanks. This person is far too brave to deserve that.
No. That is selfish.
Uncertainty
But I still don't know how I am supposed to respond to this information.
Thank her?
Well I did that, but it hardly seemed to suffice the repayment of sharing a little piece of a repaired heart.
So, I have decided to do two things with the tragic story a beautiful woman endured so many moons ago.
- Provide an earnest response.
- Return the favor.
Number 1: The Response
My Dear Friend,
I think you are the bravest person I have ever met. I have never seen someone battle through such adversity to be in the position you are today. What happened to you was a terrible thing, and if I could, I would wish it away in a heart beat.
Your ability to forgive, move forward, and still have so much love for everyone and the world amazes me. You are so much stronger than you think you are.
Please do not worry about sharing this with me. I will gladly shoulder the burden of this knowledge, because I want to know you. I want to help you like you have helped me. If you are having a bad day, I want to know why. I want you to know that I will never think less of you or love you with any less of my heart, no matter what you have done or what was done to you.
I am not upset that you shared this time of darkness with me; I am upset because someone as beautiful as you doesn't deserve that sort of darkness. But to you, this no longer matters. Your perserverance sees it no other way. And for that, I admire you.
You've made your way through darkness by being a beacon of light that now shines in so many other people's lives.
Thank you for brightening my life.
Love,
Jacquelyn Roses
Number 2 : Share myself with "you"
It's easy to hide behind the curtain of a smile. Exposing our true selves is hard. It's scary to be so vulnerable. But if we can't share ourselves with each other, then what is the point of an intimate human relationship?
So I am going to do my best to keep sharing myself with you.
Because, I want you to know me too.